So much for my productivity....

So since no one knows I started this, I think it's safe to begin this way. I am a college student at a prestigious university on the East Coast (stalk away on THAT, stalkety stalkers), and about a month ago I was approached by a representative from our school's department of Public Affairs about a blog. Not just any blog-- my blog.... my very own, or soon to be very own, public-domain blog. Provided through the school with my own brand-new headshot, to boot. All that I would have to do is write about the daily life and activities of a college senior, English and Theatre major, designing costumes and finishing out the year.

Now my first reaction was, oh shit, these people clearly have the wrong girl. There is no way that what they want me to write ("Theatre is SOO much fun! I'm so glad I came to school here!") is going to match how I actually think and feel on any given day ("I am actually going to punch those cuntwaffles in the face if they start singing in a public, academic space one more time..... ").

My second reaction was, sure. I wanted the free headshot. (I was not impressed, incidentally, with the results). I wanted the glory. (I was instead incessantly mocked by everyone around me as being the new "blog girl," including my boss, who told me point-blank, "I don't think you can work here anymore.") Most of all I wanted Ellen, the Director of Public Affairs, to like me, as she is my aunt's best friend from journalism school and I needed to bum a ride to Manhattan in a few weeks' time. (We had a lovely trip. Except for the part where I set my favorite cocktail dress on fire. But more on that later....)

Of course, the problem is that I can't post anything that I really want to post. I was told that using the phrase "it sucks," might "offend some of our readers." It was deleted. I tried to post an entry detailing the plight of the arts major on a liberal arts campus, complete with links to a NYTimes article and everything, elaborating on how although I am not an economics or chemistry major, I work just as hard if not harder than those people bitching about how damn difficult it is to live in the science library. It was eventually posted, but hidden in the folds of happier, more "cheerful" postings, and no one read it. (Until I told people about it. I then actually got some cool emails from alums and professors). The point is, it's not a place I can really actually get out there and write.

Strangely enough, of course, it would never have occurred to me to START writing at all had it not been for the first blog and that opportunity. So I suppose I can't be too hard on the poor old department of Public Affairs. Still, I am thrilled that I can just click "send" without anyone responding to say that "use of the term 'cuntwaffle' really might offend some of our readership."

Will this turn out to be the next Perez Hilton? Dubious. Highly questionable. For one thing, I don't have access to pictures of Lindsay Lohan's labial folds. For another, I don't want to. But hopefully if you are someone who might stumble across this and read, I hope you enjoy.